How to be a good gift giver to someone who is environmentally conscious

It's not that complicated.

After writing "Cash is King," a reader reached out seeking advice on how to give gifts besides money.

Let's shake things up and list what not to do.

• Do not compile a bunch of used things that you are planning to send to Value Village (a second-hand store) in a box, give it to them and say, "I know you care about the planet, so I thought you'd like these."

• Do not wrap and gift pre-owned items that are broken or not fully functioning, because "they will find something to do with it" or because "as an environmentalist, you know they love used things."

• Do not give them clothing that is not in their size or style because "they are still good," "you don't want to lose them," or because "they still have value." Remember, your excess should not be someone else's responsibility.

• Do not gift expired food or medication.

• Do not buy unnecessary, single-use plastics, wrapped in plastic, covered in glitter as a gift.

• Do not intentionally buy low quality gifts because you want them to "try it out and trash it if they don't like it."

• Do not force them to take your used items because you are a good person who understands that they care for the planet.

• Do not dump "gifts" in their home and monitor if it's still there when you visit. Remember, gifts are not unwanted obligations.

• Do not buy a lot of gifts because "that's just who you are," "that's what you are known for" or "that's how you grew up." Times are changing, and perhaps people aren't interested in recreating, or correcting your childhood.

• Do not be coercive or manipulative. Doing things like intentionally withholding receipts to prevent people from returning an object they don't want, and can't use, isn't cool.

• Don't threaten them. If they are honest with you and they tell you they don't want anything, don't force them to come up with a list or else you'll buy a whole bunch of things.

• Do not get lots of gifts because you think you know better.

• Do not get defensive, or cry when someone says, "please, stop," and "no thank you."

These do not's are a pretty good place to start. Now, with that out of the way...

How to be a good gift giver to someone* who is environmentally conscious.

(*When gifting to children, consult their primary caregiver(s). It will save you grief and unnecessary conflicts.)

• Get to know them. Have a conversation to understand their love language and gift preferences. What are their interests and aspirations? What are the best gifts they received and why?

• Ask them or get ideas from their trusted loved ones. What would they appreciate receiving as a gift? You could ask, "I'm thinking of getting this for you, is it something you would like?" or "Is there anything I could get or contribute to that would make you happy"?

• Listen to them. If they say, they don't want anything, believe them. Unless, of course, the person has a history of saying they don't want anything and then gets mad because you didn't read their mind or follow their bread crumbs of clues.

• Visit them in their natural habitat. Seeing where someone spends their time can give you an idea of what they would like or need.

• Send suggestions by text or email. Before buying anything, or bringing objects in their home, send them a picture. Sending a photo will also give them time to respond and decide if it's something they would like, need or appreciate for themselves or someone else.

• Understand that not everyone is like you or thinks like you. Just because you like something in particular doesn't mean that they would want it. Again, get curious and ask them what they would like.

• Relinquish control. If they prefer to shop for themselves because they make the best choices for themselves and their loved ones. Let go, give them money, and let them do what's best for them.

• Last but not least, check to see if they actually like you. A gift isn't just about the object, experience, or act of service. Sometimes it has everything to do with the giver. If they don't like you, there's a chance they probably don't want to see your face, or have your stuff.

To wrap things up.

I don't know about you, but for me, gift giving has become a hot topic and issue in light of the triple planetary crisis facing humanity: climate change, pollution and diversity loss. I am more mindful about the gifts I give and choose to receive after learning that over-consumption in the world’s richest countries is destroying children’s environments globally, and that over-consumption contributes to a decline in biological diversity which is vital to a clean, safe and sustainable planet.

Change hasn't been smooth or conflict-free; it is hard to let go of a good thing - even when it is bad for us and the planet in the long-term. It's hard, but it's not impossible.

Traditions and habits of excess are done in community and are heavily encouraged, so although the changes I am making started at the individual level, to create new traditions, I have found myself speaking more about why this matters to me to bring my community along. It will take time.

I hope you found this guide useful or entertaining. The art of gift giving and receiving will continue to evolve, and hopefully in the direction that puts the health of our planet first.

So, have you received a gift that you really enjoyed or wanted? What was it, and what made it special?